My philosophy class won me over.

Walking around at night while listening to Kid Cudi after training all day and learning Freud for 2 hours.

Bartering with the cookie girl to let me get away with that extra nickel because I forgot my wallet. She agrees.

Success.

 

Did good today.

Warm in flannel right now.

All my clients canceled on me this weekend. Their excuses range from real to I can't believe he just fucking wrote that to me.

Still sick. I'm pretty much ok with it.

Trained light yesterday, will train hard today.

Currently watching Deadwood nonstop and loving it.

Still have to write a noir story.

5 matches today. Didn't play great in em, but did 5 matches. My strength is coming back, thank God.

Today was just rough mentally as well as physically. Found myself dealing with the problems by getting angrier, more aggressive and consistently trying. Theres a little insanity there, but I'm sticking with it and seeing where it takes me.

Face looks horrible. Considered taking a picture to document all the scuffs, blemishes and bruises this amount of training brings on, but vanity won out.

Still sick. The journey continues.

"You may notice certain feelings come up. And, thats ok. Thats natural. But, you also have to remember this is a class and not therapy. So, for that reason I'm guna ask you to hold onto those feelings."

Good fucking call. Thank you.

Registered for Abu Dhabi Pro-

http://abudhabiprousa.com/site/home/

Feeling better. Not as sick. Still shaking the cobwebs off, but much better then before.

Figuring out my loans isn't as bad as I once thought, but still confusing.

200 bucks is missing from my account. Oh no. Time to learn about internet banking so I can fix this...

Gotta start and finish my noir story...

New class today! Mindfulness in pyschology...will it be good?

One of the tough guys at my gym gave me a card thanking me for helping him in his jiu jitsu. A big thank you and a picture of a flower covered the card, but he made sure to write inside "please disregard the flower". I like that.

Still sick. Have a lot of things to take care of. Instead, opting to sit still for a few hours and watch a movie.

Started classes yesterday. Freud seems interesting. I think I made a weird impression during my q and a portion.

This stomach virus can go fuck itself.

Projectile vomiting in the middle of the day on 14th st isn't as cool as it sounds.

I'll get rid of it by tomorrow though.

Awesome quotes from potential clients-

Will you teach me to do a summersault? I mean backflip.

Its choosing between jiu jitsu and aerial silks for me.

What do you do against someone who is 500 lbs?

What do you do against someone who is 500 lbs and has a knife?!

My fingers hurt, I don't want to do this anymore. Can you show me anything else?

Is there a kung fu school where they will teach me flips around here?

In bed. Can't tell if its just normal stiffness or if my body is hurting because of lactic acid. It feels like I need 14 blood transfusions. A day at the spa would fix this, but ill settle for a hot bath before I go lift.

I need to look at my student loan papers. Joy.

Put off most of the work I should have done this weekend until tonight.

Sleep does wonders.

Skipped lifting today. Needed rest.

Do I switch my meditation/pysch class for my old writing class? Thinking yes.

I just figured out how I can write from my phone.

Thinking its worth it to retake the same writing class.

Watched Mr. Brooks about three times the past few days. In some way its the perfect movie.

Winter times are the best to watch all the hollywood flics up for award consideration.

Contacts are coming. Giving it a second try.

Apprehension about school, competing, and the future.

Need to go a lake sometime soon.

Drinking faucet water in Spanish Harlem.

Walking home in paranoia with a friend. Several bong hits and we are instantly stripped of all our championships and victories on the mat as we eye an aggressive looking homeless man swinging a cane.

"Is that the guy who barricaded Kyle in so he couldn't get out" my friend asks, speaking of an earlier incident that took place that evening. I'm unsure I say.

"This place is dangerous" I shout as we pick up our walking and arrive at the subway station.

Brutal. Great day though.

About to start training for the day. Back hurts, but not to bad. Guna x choke and pass everyone I train with. Playing high guard ala BJ Penn, and its awesome with collar chokes.

Need to finish the current book I'm reading.

X chokes for all.

I read the book "Talent is overrated" (Well, part of it). It does a good job of laying the case for hard work and mastery, which I ultimately agree with as being the most important factor for success. That being said, I can think of talents I've come across and they were by no means overrated.

The problem is talent can often mean mental weakness because those talents have never been pushed to the point where us normal, hardworking folks have. But, what happens if the talent isn't mentally weak or doesn't fizzle out after a few years/months? Then you get something awesome.

The problem is thats rare. Not just with talent though. Its the same for ordinary or talented in a lot of ways. Most of the work to get really good is done through a grueling forging process that needs outside guidance and inner focus that a lot of athletes never really get a chance to have/develop. Its hard to spend thousands of hours consistently doing repetitive movements or have someone believe in you enough to help you understand all the losses are ultimately a process. So, people quit and or remain mediocre.

Getting off tangent, back to talent-

Not to say you can't be awesome through mastery alone, I think you can. But, I found myself sitting here and thinking of two of the biggest talents I've trained with in Jiu Jitsu. One in particular has been doing it a couple years, barely trains, barely sleeps, and drinks all the time. Yet, hes one of the best I've seen on the mat and is constantly smashing guys. A lot of that is talent.

I think thats awesome.

My upper back is in knots. Right side. Shouldn't have sparred so much tonight, lesson learned.

I've got a beard. And a peacoat. A black winter hat. I like walking around in the cold in that outfit. For an instant I can close my eyes and pretend I'm a grizzled sailor on leave, or a nantucket fisherman. Fortunately, I'm able to open my eyes and have cappuccino after.