Walking down my street at night, high on weed and hash I’d breathe in the cold air and listen to kid cudi. My body ached slightly from the long days training sessions, it was a positive reminder of how hard I worked. I stomped around feeling my strength. Every trip I had out on the street seemed epic. It didn’t matter if I was just going to buy take out, it was an adventure. I was fully conscious of my body, my breath and my thoughts just streamed forth in a haphazard ballet.

Anxiety was gone. More often than not I’d follow the thoughts and they would take me to ugly places, but I found it cathartic, a release that would put me in a positive frame of mind about any subject, past, present or future. I liked being a little scared and going down deep into the depths of my mind and coming up with some submerged treasure that I felt had blocked my flow and growth.

I couldn’t tell if it was real or just the drugs and intense exercise. But, it was therapeutic. Gradually, things changed.